You Were My Angel
by AiKo-Chan15
Summary: Yeah, this was a one-shot, but I just couldn't leave it that way. It looks like its gonna be a full story. L is dying, Light's thoughts during this. Light thinks about his feelings, but its too late. It's really sad.
1. His angel

I do not own Death Note. If I did the scene below would not have happened.

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><p>He was gone. Light… no, Kira had finally won this battle.<p>

But why did his heart feel so empty?

Why did his fake sobs become tears of agony?

Why did he care about the annoying sugar addicted detective?

He had hated him.

He _had_ hated him.

He hated the way he made him stay up late to work on the case.

He hated the constant suspicion.

He hated the way L always knew what he was thinking,

Or how he seemed to see right through his mask.

He hated the way he knew Light, like no one else ever had.

He hated it that he was his best friend.

The time his heart skipped a beat when he had seen him smile,

Or the way he could get Light to show more emotion than he ever had before

He hated his hair,

His beautiful eyes,

The way he sat,

The way bit his nails.

His delicate pale face.

He hated him

He _hated_ him.

He **HATED** him.

Tears slid down Light's face.

He would never see those eyes again.

He would never be challenged again.

He would never argue with him again.

He would never be able to tell him he was annoying,

Or to tell him that he loved him.

He **HATED** that he loved him.

He hated L, but not really, no. He could never hate him.

L had been Light's sunshine, his entire life.

Now he was gone.

His heart had been taken from him, ripped from his chest.

L would never know how much Light cared.

He leaned in and whispered "I'm sorry"

L began to close his eyes.

_Light, I wasn't wrong..._

_But I let myself love you anyway…_

_I don't regret it. _

_I love you_, they both thought.

L closed his eyes, and Light Yagami was dead too. There was no more reason to restrain Kira from taking over anymore.

When L died Light became a god who lost his angel.

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><p>I hate myself for writing something where L dies, but before I knew what was happening it was typed and submitted.<p> 


	2. The return of His angel

So, first thing's first, I don't own Death Note

Spoiler in this chapter! But come on, if you don't know L's real name by now are you really that hard core of a Death Note fan?

I hated myself for L dying in the last chapter, I just couldn't do it. I was even losing sleep just thinking about it, and I only sleep about four hours a night anyway! So I drove myself crazy trying to find a way to save L at the very last second. I didn't want a cheezy cop-out like "It was all a dream" But I just couldn't think of a way to make L live. And then it hit me, and I was pissed that I didn't think of it first because before that I tried my hardest just to manipulate some other rules of the Death Note to cheat his death. It was so easy I just felt so stupid in the end. It was so obvious.

But enough of my stupidity. I finally realized that to save L...he would have to die! Isn't that great? No? Just read and you'll get it. I got the idea to do this from one of my friends in anime club, and my own stupid head.

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><p>The return of his Angel<p>

L was dead.

L was gone.

What had he done? L couldn't die! This can't have happened.

Light was losing his mind; everywhere he went he saw L. They had the funeral, but he still couldn't believe it.

"Hey Light!" Light was depressed; he just couldn't bring himself to answer Ryuk. "Liiiiiiggggggghhhhhttttt" Still nothing. "Man, this is no fun." Light turned his head away.

"Maybe I'll just write your name in my Death Note then." He didn't even flinch.

"Wow, L dying really must've got to you" Then Light lost it.

"What do you think? How the hell did it even happen? I just started to care about him! It's all your fault for giving me this stupid book in the first place!" Light threw the Death Note across the room of his apartment. Then his anger turned into a sad smile. "I can't believe I loved him so much, I didn't realize…I didn't know… It feels so empty now…It'll be boring with him gone. You might as well just write my name down Ryuk, I've already thrown my life away" Light lay on his bed and closed his eyes.

_I've never seen him like this… I don't wanna be bored…hmm_m Ryuk didn't want to admit it, but he had grown attached to Light, he didn't want to kill him, plus it _would_ be boring. Then, he remembered something, he only had a little left, he looked at Light_. Aw I guess I gotta do it. Geez living here must've done something to my shinigami-ness_. "Hey Light, I just remembered something. How would you like to have a Death Eraser?" Light was just about to tell Ryuk exactly where he could stick any more of his stupid shinigami crap, but his curiosity got the best of him. "What the hell is a Death Eraser?"

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk, you're really gonna like this kiddo. If you have a Death Eraser and rub out a name on the Death Note... That person comes back to life, I just happen to have one use left" Light was shocked. _Come back to life? _L could come back, he wouldn't have to be alone anymore! He could be with L again, he could… No, he wouldn't, L wouldn't ever want to see him again, he would turn Light in for being Kira.

…. That was fine, he would do it. He would use the Death Eraser, he had to see him, even if L would hate him.

"Give me the eraser Ryuk"

L would live, it was time for Light to reap what he sowed, and he would die to save L.

Light had decided that a good time to get L would be Friday night, no one ever went that night, and people were convinced it was haunted. He hadn't been buried yet, the funeral had been just to show his casket, he was going to be buried later on. He was still inside the funeral home. It was easy enough for him to pick the lock, and no one was inside.

And there it was, the coffin that he never wanted to see again after tonight. The sight was… The box was…

Closed.

All of a sudden, Light felt _very_ nervous. He couldn't bring him back now, there may be a commotion, he would bring L to his apartment first.

He walked over to the coffin and lifted the lid.

Light gasped and was brought to tears.

There lie his best friend, the person closest to him, his own mind's match, his L. He looks so… so… Light couldn't even find a word to describe how beautiful he looked, how his heart jumped into his throat, how it made his heart beat faster just to be able to see him again. He brought him into his car, no one would open the coffin, the visits were already over. He started to drive home.

He brought L upstairs and lay him on the bed. He grabbed the Death Note with L's name inside, he never did look, he was afraid of the name. He knew that was ridiculous, but he just wasn't able to do it. Now he had to, he _had_ to get L back. He opened it and finally knew.

_L Lawliet_

It was the most beautiful name in the world to Light, he had wanted to learn this name from day one. Most of it was curiosity more than to write it in the Death Note, but as long it was in this book he didn't want to look at it anymore. He clutched the eraser and rubbed out the name, he didn't stop when it was gone, he used the whole eraser. It was more desperation than necessity, but this _had_ to work, there was no room for mistakes.

It was gone… but he wasn't waking up "why isn't it working?"

Ryuk flew into the room "It might take awhile, he's been dead ya know" Light was frantic "What if it doesn't work! What if he really is gone! What if…if…"

"Hrmm…." Light froze. What was that? He turned and saw the most wonderful thing in the world.

He saw L lying on his bed, breathing in and out, he was asleep. He was asleep! Light ran over to him and put his head on L's chest. His heart was beating, Light finally relaxed. He was alive again. L was alive. Light didn't want to leave him alone, he didn't want to be away from him ever again, but he had to let L rest. Light decided to lay out some clothes for L to wear when he got up. He fell asleep by mistake, he had been up for hours and Light was exhausted. But he finally had some peace of mind back.

Hours had past, but it was still dark outside. The sleeping figure had started to stir, he rose… and felt _horrible_. _Why does my head hurt?_ He rubbed his temples and stood up. He was too groggy to fully register what was going on or where he even was. He managed to find his way to the bathroom, he just sat on the floor, feeling sick he pretty much just emptied whatever was left in his stomach into the toilet.

When he was finished, he tried to shield his eyes from the light. _Where am I?_ L tried to think, _the last thing I remember is being in the Task Force building, and then… !_. He had finally remembered! The shinigami…his name was written in the Death Note and Light… Light, he was really Kira after all._ I guess I always knew, but why am I alive? It was too real to be a dream. What is going on?_

He started to get up to investigate and walked to the bathroom door.

Light had finally woken up, he heard someone moving. _He's awake…what will happen now?_ Light took a deep breath and started to walk into the room. He saw L walk through the door and his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't even think of anything to say. He tried to take a step forward, but L moved even further away, eyes wide.

"_Kira_" his voice was hoarse from disuse the words left his mouth before L had even thought about what he was saying. "You, _You're_ Kira. You lied the whole time… you killed all of those people you heartless _bastard_!...I can't believe that I actually thought, that I really…" L stopped himself from saying anything else, but then came to the conclusion that he had been keeping back. He was quieter this time "You made that shinigami kill me, didn't you?"

Light lowered his head and nodded, he knew that this would happen, but he still couldn't bring himself to speak. He was literally frozen in place. All he could do was stare.

"You killed me… you just did whatever you needed to so that you could get rid of me, you pretended to care, pretended to be innocent" Light couldn't hold back anymore, he was unfrozen now, he walked up to L and stood there, looking at him. L cringed, expecting Light to hit him, but there was no impact. He opened his eyes and Light was still just standing there. _What is he…_ His thoughts were cut off when Light wrapped his arms around L and held him close.

"You're alive…I'm so glad. I'm so happy you're okay" L noticed that L was crying. He was confused.

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why am I alive?" When Light finally trusted himself to keep his composure he let go of L and wiped away his tears. "I did kill you L… Kira took over, he had become a person of his own. I had lost myself…but when I saw you die, I-I-I just couldn't bear it. I tried to tell myself that I hated you, that I wanted you dead, but I just couldn't." Light couldn't continue, it hurt his heart to even think about L being taken away again.

"But how did I come back to life? It should have been impossible" Light smiled bitterly "Well it will take awhile to tell you everything…but I really want to stop lying to you. Please listen to me, and if you hate me you can turn me in to the police. I know that's what you're going to do anyway, think of it as my confession. I just want to be here with you before that. I just want to be honest with you"

L was apprehensive "How do I know that you just weren't able to kill me and are trying to get my name now?"

"Because I'm the one who brought you back to life. I know your name already" L's eyes widened

"What? How?" but then regained his composure "That's just a bluff Yagami-kun. There isn't any way that you could find out my name"

"No, L Lawliet. I know your name" L was stunned, he hadn't heard anyone say his real name in so long he almost forgot it himself.

"Then why would you want to bring me back to life after you had won?" Light looked into L's eyes and his heart was feeling heavy, but managed to smile anyway.

"Because L… I, um, maybe…what I mean is… I think…I mean I am…"

"…." He bit his lip.

Light could barely get the words out but managed to say one of the most sincere things that have ever come out of his mouth.

"I'm in love with you"

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><p>Review! Please? No one has been lately and its kind of depressing. Tell me what you think, give me suggestions. I love to hear from everyone! This weekend is Anime North! It's the first convention I'm going to ever, I'm so excited! Wish me luck in my hunt for merchandise and autographs!<p> 


	3. The Pain of Losing Your Light

I own nothing. (I cry myself to sleep just thinking about how sad that is)

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><p>L's eyes were as wide as his appetite for cake. "You…I …and…what?" at that moment, as he was backing away from his best friend love of his life/ serial killer. He tripped over the chair beside him. Trying to catch his balance he managed to fall forward, knocking Light over with him.

The shock they were both in only lasted as long as it took for L to remember the situation _and_ get over the fact that his face was just inches away from the younger man's. He started to get up, Light saw this and flipped L so the position was reversed (Oooo, spicy… just joking!... for now).

L started to squirm "_Let me go Kira-kun_!" L was _seething_. Light kept his hold.

"No. Not until you talk to me" He was firm, but the look in Light's eyes almost made L want to hold onto him and tell him things were going to be okay.

Almost.

He'd been killed by Light, brought back to life, kidnapped, pinned to the floor… and yet, none of that compared to the hurt in his heart, the hurt that L knew he had to say so he couldn't be _manipulated_ anymore. Tears welled up in L's eyes as he spoke, a more than a little uneasy.

"You're lying" His heart felt like it was going to break in two after saying it, but it was just a trick, just Kira trying to get the best of L. Light couldn't love him, it didn't make sense, he was perfect and L was…not. (BTW it killed me to even _think_ that let alone write it)

L closed his eyes and tried to hide his face behind his bangs. I could never… it would never… it was impossible.

Wasn't it?

L tried to get up again, but finally realized that Light was shaking, no, he wasn't just shaking, he was laughing! Was he right? Did Kira just want to play more mind games with him? Or was he just mocking L? He finally found his voice again.

"What's so funny?" his voice was trembling, part of it fear, part anger, but the tears were the main cause in the break of his usual monotone. Light looked back at L, staring right into his eyes. L tried to fight the urge to look away from Light's intense stare... and the desire to lean in closer. But his entire body froze as Light began to speak.

"L, I can take the constant Kira accusations, the surveillance, even that stupid typing of yours at 3 o'clock in the morning" he smiled as he leaned closer. "But saying that I don't love you is just too much for me to ignore"

L closed his eyes, expecting some sort of threat then, Light's lips met his.

It took L about three seconds to realize that this had happened, and another four to realize that Light was kissing him.

_My first kiss_, he thought. _Figures it would happen after I die_

Light's lips were soft; his hand was gently stroking L's face. L's eyes began to flutter closed when he finally understood what was going on. He was being _kissed_, by _Kira_, and he liked it. He put his hand on Light's shoulder, unsure if he should stop him or not, wondering if he should push him away.

Light's arm snaked around L's waist and all thought abandoned him. He would think about it later, think about what this would mean, right now, L would let his emotions take over for the first time in his life he would just feel someone hold him close. He let his cool fingers rest on Light's warm hand, still unsure of what to do. As the other deepened the kiss.

Light pulled away, panting, but he kept his hand on L's face and stayed close. "L, I love you, more than anything in the world. I love you so much that I decided to give up my life just to tell you this. I know you'll never forgive me for what happened, but I'll admit it now" Light leaned in and kissed him lightly before continuing.

"You won; you beat Kira… because you made him love you… you made him love the weird, messy, chocoholic L, the greatest detective in the world. It was the one thing I didn't count on"

L had been stunned into silence. He…He's not joking. His eyes widened as he realized this. He really… meant it? L started to sit up; Light let him this time as he sat up next to him. They were both still staring at each other.

L's hand went up to his lips, never wanting that tingling feeling to go away. He didn't realize that he was frozen, shocked from what happened. When Light's eyes finally left his he regained some mobility, as if he had been broken from a trance.

Light stood up, head down. "I'd better go now, I told you I'd turn myself in and I will." He took the Death Note out of his bag, but when L made no move to take it he placed it on the desk. "Touch the notebook, you'll see a shinigami and he will tell you everything. I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me." Light looked like his heart had been ripped from his chest.

Light began to turn around to leave, but stopped. He hadn't done so on his own, when he began to move forward his left arm didn't follow. Something had stopped him, something was tugging on the sleeve of his shirt and something was now glaring daggers at him. L got up and came face to face with Light.

"Do you honestly think that you could just _leave_! You've killed me, apparently have the power to bring me back and then _kiss_ me? You've lied this whole time, made me feel like you cared. Then, when I finally convince myself that you hate me, you do something like this!" Tears starting flowing down L's cheeks. Now it was Light's turn to feel stunned… and ashamed.

"You've killed people, you've made people your pawns, and you've let everyone work themselves to the bone right in front of your eyes! Even to the point where your own _father_ had a heart attack! You hurt people who trusted you! People who _cared_ about you! And now you're telling me that you can't be happy unless you die telling me you love me? You're the most selfish, conceited monster I've ever met! You keep telling me whatever you _feel_ like saying, there's no, "hey! Just wanted to say sorry for murdering you" or anything remotely there to apologize! Are you telling me that you can live with that, but not keeping your feelings to yourself? But most of all, Light Yagami, what I'm concerned with more than anything is that you just be… "

As he was trying to find his words, he caught a glimpse of Light whose face fell.

"…just be…"

He looked tortured, strained.

"Just be…"

L knew what he had to say. He'd be able to tell Light what his whole rant had been leading up to, with all of the bitterness in his soul.

"Just… be… with me..." he walked up and threw his arms around Light

"I don't want you to die" he sobbed. Light, stunned, returned the hug, they stayed silent for awhile just standing there.

"I…I thought you wanted Kira dead the moment he was caught" Light finally broke the silence.

"And I thought you wanted me dead" L shot back

"I don't know about you, but for a genius, I feel pretty stupid"

"I agree…you _are_ stupid" L nodded

Normally, Light would make a clever retort, and he was going to. But he looked down at L and smiled, then laughed lightly.

"Light? What happens now?"

Light snorted "I thought that we agreed I was the stupid one"

"But… I'm not sure what happens now, I'm not used to having someone so close. Whether it's physically or emotionally." Light could tell; L was fidgeting, self-conscious just by being within his 'personal bubble'.

"Nothing is rushed. Sort out your feelings, mine won't change" he stared into L's eyes.

"Everything will be fine…I promise"

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><p>Reviews would reallllyyyyyy be appreciated here guys. I haven't written anything like this and I need to know if it's good or not<p> 


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